Through a Child's Eyes

            I believe in my son. I believe in the lessons he teaches me every day. I believe that he has made me a better person. Every time I look into his smart little eyes I know that I am a better person because of him and that I will strive every day to become better for him and myself. I see him awake each morning eager to explore new things and sometimes even old things and I strive to catch his enthusiasm for the day. I see his willingness to learn new things and I am inspired to learn something new each and every day of my wonderful life with him

             

Before I had a child, I was a selfish and lazy person. I was not a morning person and rarely saw the sun at all in the winter because I would sleep all day. I have suffered for several years with a low balance of iron in my blood which makes it difficult to receive rest when I am sleeping. Because of this medical concern I can sleep for up to eighteen hours at a stretch and still feel tired. No matter how much or how little I sleep I am always tired.

             

 My father may have taught me the value of a clean home and hard work but I was unwilling to follow through on the lessons I knew to be true. Dishes would often pile up in the sink for weeks sometimes months before I got tired of eating on napkins before I would clean anything at all. My house was full of germs and mold and dust. It was an unhealthy place to live but since I was so lazy I didn’t care.

            

 In September of 2009 I became pregnant. Although the pregnancy was not planned and made life difficult for my husband and I, it was a happy time. I remember the very first time I felt my son move within me; it was late in December and I was lying in bed watching the Christmas lights sparkle on our tree. While I looked at the magical twinkling lights I felt something like a butterfly brushing around inside my stomach. Holding a hand to the feeling of movement I realized for the first time that I was responsible for creating a new human life and I was changed.

            

 Now I get up every morning at 7:30 because my son is awake. He expects to be fed in a timely manner and then I have the great opportunity to play with him for the whole morning. I used to not understand the meaning of the word morning, I had nothing to get up for. Now the word morning is sacred to me. Bob the Builder sings annoyingly in the background, mostly ignored by my son and I while my son teaches me about the world around us. Everything is interesting to him because it is all still so new. Everything must be explored and understood. I especially enjoy his speeches that he proclaims in loud baby talk from the middle of the living room. While I can’t understand what he is saying, the speeches are always powerful and given with a great deal of hand waving for added emphasis.

            

 He is always eager to see new things and meet new people. His curiosity gets him into everything, usually trouble no matter where he is. While this can cause problems it can also cause great learning opportunities for both of us. Yesterday on our bike ride my son became entranced with the spinning wheels of the bicycle. I stopped at the park and removed him from his little seat on the back of my bike to let him wander around the bike on his own. I lifted up the back of the bike so that he could spin the tire around. I spoke to him about centrifugal forces and how the invention of the wheel was perhaps the first great invention although its origins are greatly argued.

           

My son will turn one year old in fifteen days. I never know how much he listens to me but I enjoy talking to him and starting the habit of intelligent conversation with him early on. This past year has been full of many ups and downs. Like when my son was teething early in January with four teeth at once, he taught me patience and the true power of Tylenol. Or the moment when he learned to walk in March and the unbelievable surge of pride I was able to feel for someone else’s accomplishment.

             

The lessons my son has taught me are many but the very first lesson he taught me was compassion and understanding. Before I gave birth I knew that the only way to feed a baby was with breast milk, that women who chose not to breast feed were not good mothers or simply not trying hard enough. My son chose not to breast feed. While I was able to pump for a while I realized that feeding him and making sure he grew was the most important part of being a mother in those first few months, no matter what I was feeding him. My son taught me to be more understanding of others in the very first weeks of his life and I am very grateful to him.

I believe in learning something new each day because of my son. He has energy that far outlasts my own reserves and is always happy to meet new people. I am able to look at the world with eagerness and a sense of vigor that had been lacking before my son was born. While I still struggle with a low balance of iron in my blood I have been motivated enough to seek medical help. I am able to take an iron supplement and have a much better diet now.

I had to see my house through my son’s eyes before I became the great housekeeper that I am now. My house is almost always clean and if it is not spotless then there are never dishes in my sink and my house is as free of germs mold and dust as I can make it. My son deserves to live in a healthy environment and I enjoy working hard to provide him with what he does deserve.

Every smile and frown, every giggle and yell brings me purpose and happiness that I had not known could exist before my son existed. Being able to see the world through a child’s eyes has renewed my faith and hope in the world and in myself. I believe in my son.